Preface leading to IVF

Before Regis and I were married, he knew that my tubes were tied and only a reversal or IVF would bring a baby into our lives. He was ok with this, told me if it happens it happens, either way he loved me and wanted to be with me.

Why did I have my tubes tied? Well at the time I was 24 years old and married to another man. We have two beautiful sons together and my husband at the time had two daughters to a previous relationship. The girls were very much a part of our life, eventually living with us full-time. During my pregnancy with our second son it was agreed that I would have my tubes tied. We would have four children and that was enough for us, especially since the cost of raising four children was not cheap and we struggled to pay bills as it was. it seemed the logical thing to do at the time and I never thought that our marriage would end, who thinks that really? So my gynaecologists said it was a good idea and had the paperwork done so that it would happen at the delivery of my second son.

Well years later the marriage did fall apart and I found myself married to another. Although we entered this marriage knowing children may not be part of it aside from my two precious sons, when our family doctor told us that there were things they could do, we jumped at the chance. Especially since it is covered by our insurance and we don't have to pay to try.

So in 2005 we decided to seriously pursue a way to have a child together. Our family doctor directed us to a gynaecologists who is a specialist in fertility (and also his wife's gynaecologist, so he felt assured by his recommendation). Before the first appointment we had x-rays done to have a look at the extent of damage to my tubes. It wasn't pretty but the doctor wasn't pessimistic about it. Although he was quite angry that American doctors are so fast to perform tubal ligations. Something that is not done here in France unless it is a medical necessity (I have a friend who is 40 years old who asked her doctor for one, she doesn't want any more children, they refused.).

July of 2005 I was scheduled to have a look inside, sorry cannot remember the medical term for that! So packed my bags, the stay would be three or more days in the hospital. I was nervous, but the exploratory (is that the right term? lol) did not go well. They did make an incision above each fallopian tube and insert a camera to take tubes, since my uterus is retrovert, they couldn't get a clear picture of everything. So basically, a lot of pain for nothing at that time!

My gynaecologists recommended I see another specialists who deals specifically with tubal restructure. So saw that doctor in August of 2005. He took a look at the x-rays and also examined the photos that were taken during the exploratory surgery. He explained that he couldn't get a clear picture of what kind of shape my tubes were in nor could he see where they were cut exactly, he was a bit fearful they were cut too close to the ovaries, making reparations almost impossible. He did however tell us that he would do the surgery, open me up, and fix the tubes. It would take about six months of healing before I could begin trying to get pregnant. Depending on the state of my tubes, it could be up to two years before I got pregnant IF it worked. His other alternative, which he highly recommended was IVF treatments. He explained to us that given my age, 35 at the time on the verge of turning 36 in less than a month, he felt that would be the best way to go. The doctors are really against doing surgery if there is another alternative, he explained that surgery is hard on the body and system, even my 20 minute exploratory surgery affected my body negatively. He didn't want to put my body through that unless there was a 100% guarantee it would work and he didn't have that guarantee. Plus if it did work, I would be 38 or 39 years old before I would most likely fall pregnant. So he explained that IVF has been very successful, especially with all the new technologies. The first IVF child in France is 24 years old today (maybe 25 now). The success rate is good, the best IVF doctors in France are in Marseille (where we live) and that it is a faster option. He told us to go home and think about it and then consult our regular gynaecologist of what we would like to do.

So that is what we did, we went home and though long and hard about it. It really wasn't a difficult decision to make, especially since we weren't sure if the surgery would work. And if the surgery didn't work in two years, we were going to go the IVF route anyway. So why wait? Let's just get the ball rolling now!

The end of August 2005, after all the vacations of doctors, us and everyone else, we had another appointment with my gynaecologist and explained to him what we were told, gave him the paperwork to back it up and requested to start IVF treatments. He told us that we would have to get the IVF doctor's approval before treatments were started, but it looked like we had a good chance. So he gave us another specialist's name and number and he faxed her also.

Now we are in September 2005, our first meeting with our specialists I will call Dr. C. She was very nice and took all of our information, family history, health history and personal info. She explained that we would have four tries at the procedure. The success rate is high, but not guaranteed of course. We would need to attend a seminar on what was involved with the process, I would need to get full blood work as well as my husband, and a sperm test was required for Reg, also I was required to have a mammogram. We would need all of that and make an appointment with her after we had attended the seminar, which are only held the first Saturday of every month. So that left us with an appointment in November. I had to wait till my period had started before the blood tests and the mammogram, which didn't arrive till October, leaving us to attend the November seminar.

Let me just explain here that my first mammogram at the age of 36 (yes I was 36 by this time lol) was no fun. It isn't like I had much boob there to begin with, but watching it smash into nothing while thinking "omg they are going to rip it off!" did not make my day lol.

The November seminar lasted about three hours, maybe a bit longer, but boy did we find out a lot! One of the things that really surprised us though is all the time involved. Everything is mapped out according to hormone test, so you just never know what is going to happen when till each visit. There were about 20-30 other couples there also and that was helpful that some asked questions we didn't think of but got the answers that helped us anyway.

So now it is November 2005, I was really hoping during that visit that she would suggest that we get started, that is how naive I was lol! But she explained the procedure, gave us a outline of each step, gave us all the prescriptions for the three medications I would need throughout at each step and the orders for blood work and a sonogram of my uterus. I had to wait till my period in December started. All I could do is wait really. My period is very irregular! All through my 20's I had maybe 2-3 periods a year, not that I was complaining at the time lol. But since I've been with Reg is has picked up some regularity. It is now in long cycles of 36-42 days. So there is never a set day when I can expect it. So that had me stressed, I had convinced myself it wouldn't show up in December!. You start IVF on the first day of your period.

Following the First Try link will take you through what I went through on my first IVF experience.